Remembering the Yahrzeit – Why to Light a Yahrzeit Memorial Candle?
Yahrzeit is defined as “Remembering the souls of the past.” Before I can answer the question directly I need to exhibit how “light” in Judaism is significant. I guarantee it will be “illuminating” to say the least.
Creation: “And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. And God saw that the light was good.” Genesis 1:1
Blessing for Shabbat Candle Lighting : “Blessed are you, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with his Commandments, and commanded us to kindle the Light of the Holy Shabbat.” Exodus 31:16-17
Blessing of Fire from the Havdalah Prayer: “Blessed are you, Adonai, King of the Universe, who creates the illuminations of fire.” Havdalah ends Shabbat on Saturday at sundown using the twisted Havdalah double wick candle.
The Eternal Flame in our Sanctuaries: (known as the Ner Tamid) It symbolizes God's eternal presence, and is therefore never extinguished.
Excerpt on Kindling the Chanukah Lights: "We kindle these lights to commemorate the saving acts, miracles, and wonders which you have performed for our forefathers, in those days at this time.”
The Book of Proverbs (Chapter 20, Verse 27): "The soul of man is the light of God." Just as a flame is never still, the soul also continuously strives to reach up to God. Thus, the flickering flame of the candle helps to remind us of the departed soul of our loved one.
“Thus, the flickering flame of the candle helps to remind us of the departed soul of our loved one.” Beautiful!
Judaism recognizes that death is a part of life, and it is the duty of the living to remember the dead. We honor the memory of those no longer with us in life.
For Whom Do I Light a Memorial Candle? You light a Yahrzeit candle for a parent, a sibling or a child.
When to Light the Memorial Candle? Lighting a memorial candle marks the anniversary of your dearly departed, beloved, family member.
It is customary to kindle a memorial light in the house, on the eve of the Hebrew date according to the Hebrew calendar. Example: If the date is on a Wednesday, then light the candle Tuesday at sundown. I advise those that need more of a connection when lighting the memorial candle to place the photo of that family member beside it. Remember: to always light the candle in a safe area of your home with good ventilation. The candle is encased in glass or metal. You can find Yahrzeit candles in your local supermarket. The candle lasts twenty-four hours. It should extinguish at the twenty-fourth hour.
There are four times a year one lights a Yahrzeit candle, in addition to the Yahrzeit anniversary date itself: Yom Kippur and the three pilgrimage festivals; Passover (Pesach), Shavuot, and Sukkot. When one looks at the Hebrew Calendar for the pilgrimage festivals, the Yizkor is noted on the eighth day of Passover, the second day of Shavuot and Shemni Atzeret. Note: Shemni Atzeret separates Sukkot and Simchat Torah. Light your memorial candle the eve of the first night of the three pilgrimage festivals.
Prayers It is tradition to say the Kaddish prayer (mourner’s prayer), but it is required to have ten people, called a minyan. (see options below)
(I provided the Kaddish prayer. Click the open prayer book image and it will open in Adobe Acrobat. It is prepared in transliteration for those that do not read Hebrew)
You will need Adobe Reader (the latest version is recommended) installed on your computer in order to open and read, print this prayer. You can get Adobe Reader here (a new window will open so you can download it without leaving this page).
Here Are Your Options:
Check with your local temple or synagogue for daily minyan (10). Daily minyan allows you to attend on the actual Yahrzeit date.
If not daily minyan, then the closest Shabbat service to the Yahrzeit. Shabbat services are open to all. No one will be turned away.
If you find it uncomfortable to attend a temple or synagogue and happen to be blessed with many family members and or friends nearby, gather them together for a minyan.
Even though this is a sad time, and having others visiting might be difficult, remember you are also honoring your family member. You might be surprised to learn that your family members and friends would be more than willing to participate. Add a little cake, fruit, coffee and some wonderful memories might surface reminding you just how special this person was to all.
If a minyan cannot be arranged to say Kaddish, find a specific prayer (see below), a poem that you can recite after lighting the Yahrzeit memorial candle.
A Prayer The light of life is a finite flame. Like the Sabbath candles, life is kindled. It burns, it glows, it radiates warmth and beauty, but then it fades and is no more. Yet we must not despair. We are more than a memory vanishing in the darkness. With our lives we give life. Something of us can never die; we move in the eternal cycle of darkness and death, of light and life. The memorial light we now kindle is a sign of this truth. As it burns pure and bright, so may the memory of our dearly beloved brighten and purify our lives. Amen
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