Wedding Officiant Fee Guide - Wedding Guidance
Note: Wedding Officiant Fee Guide does not only pertain to a
Jewish Wedding
. It can pertain to all other Life cycle events such as...
Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah,
Bris, Baby Naming for
newborn boys
and for
newborn Girls
, Funeral, Unveiling and any other Jewish life cycle ceremony.
Whether you know the Officiant beforehand or not, by the time the Officiant marries you, you will feel like you have known one another for all time! I always feel a very special bonding with the couples I marry.
Your Officiant is a very vital part of the Wedding Day. You must have a Ceremony and a Marriage License signed by a legal Representative of the State where you are married in order to be really married! This is true for Destination Weddings as well. So, whether you have anything else or not in your plans for The Wedding Day, choosing an Officiant is a #1 priority, and the cost for you, the couple - whatever it may be - should be considered a very small but very necessary part of the overall expense of the occasion.
The proper term for a Rabbi's fee is an honorarium. Most range from $375 to $900. Please note: Each Rabbi has a different amount. One Rabbi may be in the low range, another in the middle range and another in the high range. Each Rabbi works differently Officiating a Jewish Wedding and the pre-ceremony meetings with each couple. Each wedding ceremony is unique in their own way because each couple is special in their own way. Before contacting a Rabbi, plan your wedding day budget with the high range number. This way you are prepared and not allowing the finances to control your decision to use the Rabbi or not.
Advice#1 - Don't allow your very first email to a Wedding Officiant or Rabbi with your first intention of wanting to know the honorarium for services. Why? Re-read the above or see Advice #2
Advice #2 - Before allowing money to control your decision on hiring a Wedding Officiant and or Rabbi, take a moment to speak with them first on the telephone.
Be respectful and don't call more than one Wedding Officiant or Rabbi at a time. They are spiritual ministers, not a wedding vendor with a store front.
When communication does occur on the telephone, you should have an easy conversation together. You will know if this Wedding Officiant and or Rabbi is the one that will marry you. Most Wedding Officiants and or Rabbis will schedule a meeting in a timely manner.
If an
Auf Ruf Aliyah
- the pre-wedding Jewish custom takes place, this may be an additional expense to the wedding budget. Discuss this with the Rabbi who is to be the Officiant for your wedding.
When the time comes, and it always does, to discuss the honorarium with the Rabbi or Wedding Officiant for your Jewish Wedding Ceremony – it is strongly advised to not bargain. Think of the clergy for all they have endured, years of studies, training, and sacrifices to answer their spiritual calling. The Rabbi will, without doubt, offer a memorable wedding day ceremony that will be priceless and timeless. You will feel this during your pre-ceremony meeting. Again, remember, without them you could not be married.
Marriage License, Rabbi, Wedding Officiant Registered?
Every Rabbi or Wedding Officiant of a local Jewish Temple or not must sign the marriage license and send it into the County Courthouse to be recorded. If they don't, even though you will sign the Ketubah of marriage, receive blessings under the Chuppah, you will not be married! Each state has its own laws, but most do require a clergy to be registered. This registration number will be written on a couple’s marriage license along with their signature. All officiants are required to file the marriage license within a certain amount of time, usually 10 days.
When you are considering the fees and or honorariums, remember, this wedding officiant and or clergy is giving you much more than the time for your wedding day ceremony. It may include all or a few of the following:
Premarital counseling (optional)
Meetings with the couple (required)
Rehearsals (optional)
Ceremony preparations with and without the couple
Wedding day travel (destination weddings may incur travel expenses and should be part of the discussion)
Many hours take place preparing a wedding ceremony so that it reflects the couple as the rabbi took the time to get to know the couple in the pre-ceremony meetings.
How to pay the Rabbi Wedding Officiant?
A deposit is the best and this reserves your wedding date on the Rabbi's or Wedding Officiant's calendar even if the day is a year away. If paying the remainder balance on the wedding day, cash is best or a certified bank check. Do you really want to arrive home from your honeymoon only to hear a message on the answering machine or in an email from the clergy that your personal check had bounced?
The bride and groom should place either in a sealed envelope along with a personalized note. It is a good practice to give the responsibility to either the best man or a trusted family member to hand out all sealed envelopes on the wedding day.
Will the Rabbi Wedding Officiant Show Up?
Advice #3 - A bride and groom can only pray that not only the clergy, but that all on their special day go as smoothly as possible. It is best to type a call sheet list. The all important telephone numbers along with a well charged cell phone. i.e. clergy, florist, photographer, limo service etc. It would be a good idea to make calls a few weeks in advance, and or even the week before, especially to the clergy and not only confirm the all important details, but as well as if any changes had occurred.
Advice #4 - Be prepared for it may or may not happen. Check with the caterer, for a list of clergy for an emergency. This all important question and list is usually overlooked when meeting with the caterer by couples. Most caterers usually have a good relationship with local clergy that can step in within short notice. This may delay the ceremony since the couple would need to discuss important details, but most likely the ceremony will go well.
Should the Clergy Give a Refund?
All depends on the circumstances. i.e. sickness, accidents, cancellations - no one can predict what those circumstances will be at the time they take place. Most clergy will honor either a full or partial refund. A partial refund will take place due to the time into preparing for the ceremony, especially when it is quite close to the wedding day.
Trust that the wedding day was planned to every detail, but to not lose focus on the most important element of this special day. Remove all the material items, the details, the schedules etc. and ask yourself what is left...is it wedding memories - yes, but more importantly, the marriage!
Two people joined together in the union of marriage is with God's blessing. Mazel Tov!
Wedding Officiant Fee Guide is an extenstion of Wedding Guidance
Also see Marriage Guidance
Your Shopping List of Important Ritual Items Needed for the Jewish Wedding
Do you find this article helpful? Perform Tzedakah and Receive an Item to use on your Wedding Day.
|
