The Chupah Story – from Despair to Triumph!
This Chupah story is about a hopeful bride belonging to a reform temple and that someday her wedding ceremony would be in that temple’s sanctuary. That day arrived, it was all she thought it would be, but before that memorable day, the wedding planning hit a few bumps in the road. This one bump is now a treasured story and this bride allowed it to be shared, here, for all future brides.
The bride; because of her deeply held beliefs and her very active involvement in the temple, she had always known that she wanted to have the traditional Chupah used for her wedding, not a florist’s artistic expression. Though a florist's creations, with the white tulle, ribbons and flowers, can be quite beautiful, they did not have that feeling of tradition for this bride. Besides, what does happen to all those flowers, tulle and ribbons when the ceremony is over?
The first people she went to were the ladies in the office who know all there is to know in the temple. She was quite astounded that they did not seem to know just where the traditional temple Chupah was. There had been some major construction on the main building and things had been moved around.
“Where are the poles and their bases?” she asked. “We do have them and they are in good condition.” The office secretary assured her. She also advised the bride-to-be to talk to the temple board member who was in charge of overseeing events such as a wedding at the temple. As she was going down the hall toward the lobby and to the exit, she just happened to meet the board member she needed to speak with.
“Pardon me, Sarah. I just spoke with Kathy in the office and she said I should speak with you. Do you know where the temple’s Chupah is stored here? I want so much to use it for my wedding.”
“The Chupah, Oh, I am sorry, but I think it was accidentally destroyed during a phase of the major construction of the building.” Sarah responded.
“Destroyed, will the board be able to replace it in time for my wedding?” asked the dismayed bride.
Sarah answered, “I don’t know right now, it would have to be discussed and it is not high on the priority list at the moment."
The bride was stunned and asked, “Not a priority? But what about the couples who want to use it for their weddings, like us?”
“I am very sorry, but we just don’t have one for the time being. Why don’t you have one made by the florist? Everyone else does.” Sarah replied.
As she exited the building to the parking lot, the bride thought, “How could it be that a temple would not make it a priority to replace one of the most important symbolic ritual items a bride and groom needed for their Jewish wedding? Before she entered her car, she turned and looked at the building bewildered, and knew 'like everyone else' was not an option."
After speaking with her groom-to-be, she knew she had to jump into action. The temple provided the bases that held the poles in place. These can be adjusted to fit any size canopy as they are free standing.
The Options
(*) If the budget allows and there is sufficient time, many artists hand paint Chupahs. There are websites on the internet that showcase their designs. Oversized talits (prayer shawl) can be used as long as it is a lightweight fabric and the wedding couple with family can fit underneath it.
(*) A beautiful alternative for a Chupah is a large, lightweight linen tablecloth. Material would need to be sewn with corner-like pockets in a manner that enables the tablecloth to be attached to the poles. The reason for the lightweight linen is to avoid sagging in the middle when erected for the ceremony.
A Treasure was Discovered
The bride found just such a tablecloth. She kept her mother's linen tablecloths, and after looking them over, there was one that stood out among the rest. However, it did have a few yellowing age type stains and a tiny slit. It had a nature-like design with branches and flowers that were elegant without being too busy and a border that was a lovely sky blue. The colors never faded as well. Was this her something blue from her mom? She saw it as a gift from her mother, who had passed on, and that made this tablecloth even more meaningful. The few yellowing stains did need to be removed and she had to soak it several times with a stain remover. And it worked! Now she not only had the something blue, but she had a Chupah with extra special meaning. It seemed to be a sign that her mother was right there with her doing what mothers do best – saving the day!
Her artistic talent led the bride to go a step further with the beautifully restored tablecloth. She decided to paint on it to make it even more special for her wedding. The branches were positioned just right to create family trees of her family and the family of her groom-to-be. In keeping with the Jewish theme, the family trees would be written in Hebrew.
The bride noticed that the tablecloth design had the branches flowing from the corners toward the center. The branches would start at the corners with their great grandparents and go to the grandparents, then the parents with the bride and groom’s names in Hebrew in the center, adorned with silk flowers that were glued on with fabric glue.
Since she was a regular at the craft shop, she knew that the fabric pens she would need were readily available. As an artist, she greatly appreciated the artistry of the stone carvers on the monuments in the cemetery. She photographed both her family monuments from both sides of her parents and placed them in a mini photo album. Her maternal great grandfather and great grandmother’s monuments had their Hebrew names of both their names and their parent’s names. It is a Jewish custom to have the deceased person’s Hebrew name followed by their parent’s Hebrew names. The deceased’s name is followed by ‘bar - for ‘son of’ or ‘bat - for daughter of’. The family of her groom-to-be was very helpful and provided all the Hebrew names for her soon-to-be in-laws family. A Hebrew/English dictionary helped make sure of the correct Hebrew spellings.
To give a nice finished look to their Chupah, she sewn a header on the front that reflected the well known wedding phrase "Ani Ledodi Vedodi Li" (Means: "I am to my beloved and my beloved is mine"). It is from the "Songs of Songs.' With the help of the internet, the bride found a company that would embroider in Hebrew on the actual header. The piece of white cloth arrived in the mail with the phrase in bright gold thread.
When completed, the Chupah was an artistic masterpiece. The end result was a Chupah that was more meaningful to the happy bride and groom for their Jewish Wedding. When it was that time to meet with their congregational rabbi to discuss their wedding, the bride and groom presented their Chupah. As they held both sides of the Chupah, the rabbi sat back in awe. He relished the beauty of this symbolic expression of tradition and two families coming together through marriage.
During their wedding ceremony, the bride recalled how the rabbi was looking up to their Chupah as he spoke about their families. Couples planning their weddings can experience some road blocks. For this bride and her groom, now husband and wife, worked together turning a road block into a cherished family heirloom.
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Is there a creative and memorable wedding story that would assist future brides? Would you like to see it posted on the internet? Send and share.
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