Alternative B Mitzvah Outside a Temple Setting
Simply, it is an opportunity for parents to fulfill the obligation of the commandment for their son or daughter to have a Bar Mitzvah or a Bat Mitzvah outside the a temple setting. Alternative B Mitzvah - it does not feel right? When was it ever a bad thing to provide for your child a good education? Well, then how is it different to provide your child with the Jewish education preparation for their Bar Mitzvah and or Bat Mitzvah? Without a child's parents to provide, then the child cannot become the 'son of the commandment' and or 'daughter of the commandment.' 
The Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah ceremony can be held anywhere. Just as
weddings
can be held anywhere a
Chuppah
can be erected, Bar Mitzvahs and Bat Mitzvahs can be held anywhere as well. A tallit, a kippah, a Torah Scroll and a
Rabbi,
but do remember, a child does need to be taught and prepared for that day, and then their ceremony to take place. God gave the Torah and its Commandments in the wilderness. I am hearing more and more from catering managers, on how they have had several ceremonies take place on their properties. Also, backyard ceremonies as well. In order for an Alternative B Mitzvah to take place anywhere, a Minyan of ten adults - after the age of becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is all that is needed. Most ceremonies fulfill that requirement when preparing the guest list. Before you know it, your dearest and closest friends on paper equals a total of more than you imagined. Many blessings! For families who are not affiliated with a Temple or don’t live near one, this is a great alternative or option to what we have been conditioned to follow, the traditional ceremony in a Temple. For those affiliated with a temple that prefer an alternative B Mitzvah ceremony outside the temple, schedule a meeting with the rabbi. Do your research, have a plan and present it. Each Shabbat a specific parsha (part) in the Torah is read and a Devar Torah is given by the leader of the worship service, also known as a sermon. Each child's 13th birthday day and month corresponds with each parsha. This is the base that a Rabbi would use to design an alternative Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Each child is unique with their own gift. When a Rabbi meets with the child or children and their parents, only then can an alternative B Mitzvah ceremony can be created making it their own personal moment. This would not only demonstrate the child's understanding of Torah, but it would be their very own personal expression.
Now Available! Alternative B Mitzvah lessons using the free service Skype communications, a web cam, headset/microphone. Computer to computer lessons with Rabbi A. Frank and student. With the technology of today using email and ordering materials ahead of time, your child can learn and be prepared for their ceremony day. Depending on distances, travel arrangements may take place in order for Rabbi A. Frank to provide the leadership on the day of the ceremony. Alternative B Mitzvah Outside a Temple Setting Is Available Special Needs Children There is also no reason for ‘special needs’ children not to become Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah, either. There are many children who have difficulty learning even the simplest of the blessings. This doesn’t mean they don’t understand or can’t feel in their hearts what it means to be obedient to God. Many children who can’t learn the Hebrew and often struggle with English have special talents. These talents can be their way of expressing their love and devotion to God and to their Jewish heritage. Those talents can be expressed in a way that would leave a memorable moment for the child, the parents and guests. One young girl, who at fifteen, thought she was too old and was severely dyslexic, would never become Bat Mitzvah. But after some discussion with the Rabbi, it was decided that she could indeed have her Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Though she could not learn Hebrew very well, she could dance so gracefully it was like watching prayer in motion. So this was to be her focus for the ceremony – to show her devotion to God and understanding of what was now expected of her in the community, she would express it in dance. It was a marvelous Bat Mitzvah for her and for all who attended. Article: Creating a special celebration for special children by Mark Mietkiewicz Special Needs Ceremonies Q&A by URJ Reform Movement Special Note: When children express they want this before they reach age 13, God is sending a message through the child. The time has come for parents to act, but due to certain experiences in their lives, resistance to Judaism will be the barrier and it is the child that suffers the consequences. Throw down the barriers and let the children experience this moment in their lives. For those children in interfaith families expressing their identity with Judaism before the age of 13, the time has come as well. For it is those parents whom decided early on when they had children, they were going to leave it up to them to decide on a religion when they get older. Without proper lessons and preparation, then how can your child make that decision? Alternative B Mitzvah is just that - an alternative approach. A thought...When your child is an adult and asks you, the parent, the question, "Why didn't you have a Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah for me?" Is the answer it was not that important to us a really good answer these days? Especially with all the options. There are no excuses for the children to miss this opportunity, with other options today as an Alternative B Mitzvah, not even modern day's busiest schedules could uphold as an excuse now.
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